♥Love Mie or Hate Mie♥

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Life Is Full Of Shit

At times I'm really pissed at myself.. I've realized that I actually know what the hell am I doing most of the time.. But those acts are JUST FOR PLEASING OTHER PEOPLE.. I had never stand up for myself.. I've been doing and agreeing on things so that they are happie.. But why? Why couldn't I just be a bitch and learn how to reject or disagree with people? Why am I always so weak?

At times I felt like crying after encountering all this shit.. But I can't.. Cos the blame are on myself.. I was the one being foolish for not rejecting or disagree with them.. So, what's the use of crying or feeling sad? At the end of the day all fingers will be pointed to mie too.. wtf..

Sometimes I feel life is just so unfair.. It's so complicated and hectic.. Even a long break wouldn't be enough for mie.. Cos things will be the same.. Every single day.......... Mie doing most of the things I don't want to and agreeing with stuff I don't wanna encounter.. But being away from people will make worst.. I admit I am a person that couldn't live my life without friends.. I am someone who is afraid of being alone..

Perhaps all of this tells mie that it's time for mie to turn around and go back to being who am I before.. Being the old mie should be better.. A lil more inconsiderate.. I guess.. A lil less of who am I now...

I miss being pampered by someone.. I miss being given extra attention by a person.. I miss being spoiled.. I being a baby to someone.. I miss being attached to someone.. just one and only him.. I miss receiving sweet "good mornings" & "good nights" messages and calls.. I miss being hugged with love instead of lust.. I miss the feeling of being in love.. I miss being envied by others..

I hate the numbness in mie.. I hate the feeling of being lost at times.. I hate the feeling of loneliness when I needed someone there.. I hate it when nobody understands mie but tries to act like they do.. I hate it when I'm always pleasing everyone else but disappointing myself.. I hate it when people misinterprets or even misunderstands mie.. I hate being unable to divide my time properly for everyone.. I hate myself for not having the courage to say things I wanna say.. I hate neglecting important people in my life.. All in all, I HATE MOST OF THE THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE NOW.

Kissed by mie @ 6:19 PM

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